I went to a gathering on Saturday and I was looking forward to seeing and talking with a lot of people that would be there. Due to my Cerebral Palsy, I knew I would need my scooter because it is hard for me to get around, and I wanted to be as independent as possible. I didn’t know which scooter to take because they both have different features. I ended up taking my lighter scooter with the thought that if anyone wanted to give me a ride home, it could be taken apart and put in their car.
As soon as I got off of the van at the event, my scooter stopped working. I couldn’t believe it! People were really nice about helping me get around, but I felt stuck. I had taken my scooter so that I could be independent and here I was, more dependent because I needed a push everywhere I went! I had to be pushed over to the bathroom and to the next person to talk with, and it brought up a lot of old feelings. And you know how people meander, so there would be times that I was pushed over to a group of people and then soon, they would all move on and unintentionally leave me sitting alone.
As people helped me, however, it brought up opportunities for rewarding conversations. I had a great conversation with a mother who shared that she had two kids with special needs who had passed away several years before, and that conversation probably never would have taken place if I could have gone wherever I wanted with my scooter. I had to really take my thoughts captive that day because I was tempted to feel sorry for myself and think, “If my scooter would be working, I could be doing all of the things I had planned to do!” Throughout the day, I continuously practiced putting those thoughts aside.
At the end of the day, one guy push me over to my friend, Mary Ann. Later she said, “You didn’t see the smile on his face when he was pushing you.” I thought about that and realized that when I try to be so independent, I may be robbing other people of the joy of connecting through helping me.
That night, I read Psalm 84:10, “Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere; I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of the wicked.”
As I read it, I thought, “Yes, I would rather be exactly where God wants me to be than anywhere else!”