Thank you to Joan www.Luke14Echange.org for publishing this story orginally.

My daughter came as an unexpected gift. As a woman with cerebral palsy, people didn’t think I could birth or raise a child. So I never dreamed of being a mother but God is full of surprises. After a normal pregnancy, I walked into the hospital. Rachael was born a week early. When my mom heard the news, she drove from Montana to Oregon in record time. With her arms full of gifts from friends and family, she arrived at the hospital smiling from ear to ear.

When we got home from the hospital reality set in. Frustration over the inability to change my baby overwhelmed me. I burst into tears. Sobbing, yet I resolved that no 2-week-old baby is going to get the best of me. Day by day, Mom and I developed ways I could care for my precious newborn. My dear Mom has always tried to help make my life easier. One of the ways she did this was to put Velcro on Rachael’s clothes. As my little girl grew, she learned to be a team player. I couldn’t use both hands to pick her up, like most people would do. So to get her out of the crib, she leaned on my right arm, and that’s how we did it “our way” so I could lift her with my other hand between her legs.

As my big helper, she might have been the only kid allowed to stand on the cupboards to reach the dishes.

Mom visited as long as she could but eventually she had to go back to the family farm in Montana. I hired caregivers to do many of the things that mothers need to do. This meant that there was always someone else with us on our adventures. But we developed a strong mother-daughter bond.

The year I turned 50 I knew Rachael would go to Disneyland with her freshman band. I didn’t want her first theme park adventure to be without me. Because there are some adventures mothers like to do with their children first. Before her scheduled trip, I asked one of my best friends to go with us to Disneyland. It brought me great joy to see my daughter have fun and not worry about taking care of me. The three of us played hard and went on all sorts of rides. When we were ready to go home, my friend, JoAnn, laughed and said, “I don’t really like rides but I didn’t want you to show me up.”

Fast Forward 20 years, my daughter drove me and my three grandchildren from Colorado to Montana to visit my mother, Great Grandma Elaine. It was no easy trek. Even the pitstops for gasoline were an adventure with three young kids under the age of 8. They all took turns climbing on the scooter with me, laughing and smiling. What an amazing blessing, four generations together. The kids loved to chase the kittens at the wheat farm and loved to swim in the community pool while Great Grandma coached them.

Even the difficult things in life can be gifts when we see how God uses them to teach us about His goodness. God richly blessed me with the amazing mother He gave me, and again by the unexpected gift of being Rachael’s mom.

My daughter freaked out when she heard what I was about to do. “Mom, why do you want to go parasailing?” I smiled and then laughed. “Honey, it’ll be fun!” Although Rachael knew that I love adventure, she was afraid because I have Cerebral Palsy and I have limited use of my hands, and my balance is precarious.

It was my sister’s idea. When my 10-year-old daughter and I were visiting my extended family in Montana, my sister Kathy and I took our girls on a quick road trip. As we ate ice cream at a marina, my sister Karen went to talk to the man who worked there. In a few minutes Karen came and introduced me to Jess.  I squealed with delight when Karen pointed to Jess and said, “I just asked him if you could go parasailing. He explained how we could go tandem parasailing safely.”

So we did. Our pink and white parasail began to rise, taking us in the air with it! I was bursting with joy as I soared higher and higher into the air. Usually, I was the one watching others perform daring feats, but this time they were watching me! My disability wasn’t holding me back!

I felt utterly alone with God and at peace as we soared through the blue skies above Flathead Lake. Now I knew how it felt to be in the shelter of God’s wings. That was a perfect day. For one day, for a few moments of it, I could feel free. I had longed for this feeling, this freedom, all of my life. I’m so grateful for that experience.

Much as I would have like to hold onto the joy and peace of that moment, I haven’t. Sometimes life is full of frustrations. I only use two fingers to type so it can be frustrating but I love to share stories of encouragement.

Delight in the little things

At Christmas, we don’t need to get all stressed out. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed because our expectations are high. Keep this in mind: we don’t live in a Better Homes and Gardens magazine photo shoot. I remember when my young daughter was 7 years old, she said, let’s set up the Christmas tree. I had to say (with disappointment thinking of my physical limitations), “We have to wait for help.”

Instead, the little rascal told me to stay in my bedroom and closed the door. An hour later, I was delighted to see that she had set up the small tree with her favorite shiny decorations, all by herself. She was full of joy. 

Let’s look for joy in small things like simple Christmas decorations, food lovingly prepared in advance by friends or family. Wrapping presents can be challenging, but I’m thankful for colorful gift bags.

Where do you find your joy?

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Romans 15:13 NIV

Looking back, March of 2020 took us down a bumpy road that no one wanted to go down. When the Covid19 pandemic caused restrictions, I wondered how I would fill my days.

As I was looking at Facebook, I noticed a post about a writing class called Your Story Matters, taught by Leslie Lealand Fields.  The course was a rich time of learning more about the craft of writing.  I loved seeing how powerful it is when we tell our story.  It was a good reminder of how the Lord has guided me through the tough times and the good.

Before my daughter could drive, we often flew from Oregon to Montana to see my family. After arriving to bear hugs from my mom and lunch at our favorite restaurant, we were ready for the hundred-mile ride to her house.

After speeding down the highway for a while, my mom turned onto an unpaved country road. Forgetting that we’d always go this way to get to the farm, Rachel asked, “Grandma, I thought we were going to your farm?”

In reply, Grandma teased,  “Oh dear, I forgot the way, so I took the wrong road.”

My tired little girl burst into tears. 

After she heard Rachael cry, Mom said,  “Honey, I’m sorry.  We aren’t lost.  I’m just taking a short cut.”

Oh, the memories of raising my daughter as a single mother with a disability. I cried because I  felt overwhelmed. God comforted.  Now, in these pandemic times, the weeks of staying home have stretched into months nearing a year.  I have gotten bored, but on those harder days I remember what I am thankful for.

My daughter is grown up, happily married, and is raising my precious grandchildren in Colorado. So, with the travel restrictions this year, I had my first Christmas alone.  I had to lean into God’s arms. I remembered my family was happy and healthy and how well God has provided for all my needs. 

When the pandemic started, the Lord put 2 Corinthians 10:5 on my heart, “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” When I would get into a funk, focusing on how much He’d done for me filled my heart with joy.

What promises have helped you get through the tough times?