Racing in the Right Lane

        Racing in the Slow Lane, is the autobiography Pam Jordan.  Although she’s blind, she’s a true go-getter.   She gives clear insight how she adapted to her physical environment.  She made impact on children by teaching Sunday School, and by being a foster parent  

            One of the things she talked about was a coping skill she termed her Polly-Anna attitude and the way she and her husband make it a habit of counting their blessings before they go to bed.
        

           I’m a relatively positive person myself, but I’ve come to realize that pain of inner struggle can’t be glazed over forever.   It often seemed odd to me, when a pang of sadness would show up like a gray cloud on a bright, sunny day.  This used to happen each spring when I saw people doing things I can’t, like taking a leisurely stroll or go whizzing by me on their bikes.

            I didn’t understand why these melancholy feelings cropped up from time to time.   But God surprised me, while I was helping lead a Grief and Loss Seminar. The group was comprised of two amputees as well several other people. During a discussion the Lord gave me a new insight. Although I don’t dwell on my disability; I still carried the pain of the losses it has caused. For example, as a child, I didn’t have the ability to run or ride bikes with the other kids.  As a mother, I wasn’t able to do some of the “basics” of caring for my daughter. I couldn’t fix her hair, or take her on a mother-daughter shopping trips without another person to help us.

           In the safety of group, I was able to explore some of my inner pain caused by cerebral palsy.  He helped me understand was that, although I was known as an overcomer, because of the ways I dealt with my obstacles, that didn’t replace what I’d lost. 

         When I talked, I shared my pain during group, it was like flinging off chains that bound me.  The more healing I receive from my heavenly Father, the more He has shown me how to race in the right lane, the course that He has set before me.

    “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up.  And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.  We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith.” Hebrews 12:1-2

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