This morning, I asked my mother what she was doing today. She said, “I am taking apart the quilt that I started at a retreat, and it is a mess!” She got some other new ideas so she’s adding more pieces to her quilt. It is a slow process because she has to take it all apart before she can create the new masterpiece.
As a writer, I sometimes feel like a quilter without any pattern at all. All of my ideas are in my head and in my heart, so I can start one piece on a particular day, and the next day, the entire thing can morph into something else! When there was an event in my life such as Rachael being born or going to college, those seemed like the main pieces of my quilt, or my story, because they were so defining. But in each stage of life, there have been more events that have added elements to the story that I would not have predicted at all.
Sometimes I feel like my mother, with stacks of fabric, yet to be sewn together when I think about the stories I have yet to tell. Unlike me though, she does have patterns to follow, and she gets to choose the fabric as well. We definitely don’t get to choose the pattern OR the fabric in the story of our lives, but even the dark pieces of fabric have a place in the quilt. For example, the break-up of my marriage or my daily struggle with cerebal palsy are still a part of my story and my quilt, no matter how messy they first appear.
Life gets difficult when we want to create the pattern for ourselves. I am thankful that God is putting together the story of my life, each and every piece of it. The dark times as well as the spectacular moments. Someday the struggles we face or the tragedies we hear about on the news will make sense to us, but for now, we can be confident that God knows what he is doing and that He knows the design of our lives. I do know this, when we trust in God, the quilts of our lives will bring Him glory.
“…looking unto Jesus the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising shame, and hath sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” Hebrews 12:2