Healing the broken places


Each of us were created with the desire for companionship. Companioning is the act of walking alongside others and sharing the joys and struggles of daily life.  All of us do this as we go about our daily life. Some people follow a vocational path of being soul-care providers; counselors, pastors, spiritual directors, and educators.

My friend Katie Skurja is director of Imago Dei Ministries and founder of the Companioning Center.  Recently, I attended a Companioning seminar, she co-hosted with her friend Kathi Gatlin from Boldly Loved Ministries.

My cerebral palsy makes walking difficult so when I’m out and about I am either with a friend who helps me get from place to place, or I take my scooter.  This time I had neither. When the opening session of the conference ended and we were instructed to go to different classrooms, I knew I was in trouble.  Even with my cane, it would have taken me much too long to independently hobble to the right place.  Katie noticed I was having a problem and offered to walk me to the right place.  As we entered the room, she led me over to the first-round table and introduced me to another woman at the table.  Jen graciously chose to step through the fear barrier and helped me the rest of the day.

(Jen’s reflections about our encounter is at http://www.boldlyloved.org/blog)

When class started to talk about shadows, Katie held up a flashlight as she drew our attention to the objects on the table. Depending on where the light was held in relationship to the object, the reflection changed.

There are times in our lives when memories of the past can cast a shadow over our day.  During the process of getting settled, memories of being teased as a child in public school emerged.  My heart cried, “Get me out of here.” I imagined that  everyone  thinking  “Shame on her.  She should have planned the day better.  She’s so much trouble.”  When I realized these uncomfortable feelings came from a wounded place within my heart.   I asked God to comfort and heal my heart.

As God heals the broken places in our hearts, we can enjoy the companionship of our Heavenly Father and each other.

Galatians 6: 2 Bear one anothers burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.

Walk In the light as I’m in the light and have fellowship one with another.


“Be the Hands and Feet “

Early in January, I watched my mailbox very closely.  “Be the Hands and Feet, “ by Nick Vujicic finally arrived, and I was part of his launch team.  Which meant that after reading his book I was supposed to post my review on several different sites and tell people about his book that is coming out February 13th..

 As I read,  Be the Hands and Feet, I thought of many of the people I know who are impacting others as they share their lives with those around them. I want to make sure you’re aware of the book, so  I’ve decided to share my review.

   “Be the Hands and Feet” by Nick Vujicic is probably the most important book you’ll read all year.  As Nick shares Jesus with others, their lives are transformed.  Most of us aren’t evangelists but many people with a disability or any type of weakness would like to hide it because society often disqualifies them.

Nick’s disability is obvious to everyone because he was born without arms and legs.  As a  woman with cerebral palsy, I know how nervous people can feel about being around us.  I was blessed when Nick said that people who talk to him feel safe to tell him about their struggles because they see his.

This book is full of stories of people who display the love of God as they go about their daily activities.  One of the many examples Nick gave was of couple who either became foster parents to children who had been abused or abandoned. The cycle abuse is often broken when they are  placed in Christian homes and experience the love of Jesus.

  “Be the Hands and Feet, ” has given me a hunger to let God use my daily interactions to display his love.   It will definitely encourage you to do the same.


I received an Advance Reader Copy from the publisher.  Lyla Swafford Author

Bit by Bit

Did you make any resolutions on “ New Years”? Many people don’t because they’ve made them in the past but forgot about them a short time later. Maybe it’s because their reason for making them lost their importance.
Last year as my birthday rolled around, (which isn’t till April) I spent a week or so in freak out mode. I’m getting closer to starting another decade, and I can tell, the combination of cerebral palsy and old age, may not be a good mix.
One day a friend who was also born with a physical problem and I were discussing the woes of aging. I told her I hadn’t had any therapy since I was 13 and started public school. I said, “I really need to do something because some days I can feel myself getting stiffer.” Peggy smiled as she said, “Since I live close to George Fox, I’m going to see if someone in their physical therapy department will see you.” In a couple weeks my friend called and let me know my first appointment was all set up. At my first appointment my therapist asked me what my goals were. I told her I wanted to be able to lift my arm high enough to be able to put a tee shirt on. She told me, “I can help you with that.” While she taught me some exercises she said, “When you do this, I want you to move your arm as far as you can, and have the person helping you push is a little farther. You’ll see change over time.”
Each of us may have wanted to make different changes at one particular time or another our lives. One of mine is to try and regain some of the flexibility I’ve lost, so I can stay as independent as possible. This requires me to be committed to exercising. Many people buy memberships, the first part of January, intending to get in shape but find yourself going less and less. Maybe you want to do more reading or meet more people but you haven’t made any headway or have forgotten all about the changes you thanking about making. In that case maybe asking yourselves these questions might help you:
1. Why did I set these as goals?
2. Do I have a plan to help me be successful.
3. What will happen if I don’t work toward them.
4. Do I have a plan to help me be successful
5. Imagine different my life will be when I follow through.
Did you make New Year’s resolutions?

Please share about how are you doing with them. If you’ve forgotten about them just begin again!


Healing For Hearts At Christmas

A few weeks ago my apartment manager sent in ORKIN men because one of my neighbors had reported she had carpet beetles in her apartment. I was surprised when he told me these visually invisible pests had invaded my place.  Little did I know, they were eating my clothes and furniture.
Before the inspector left he told me, be said they have it done within a week.
The list of instructions, he left with me were very ambitious. The paper told us to put everything plastic on my dining room table. My HomeCare worker did a lot more work than she needed too. When the guy came he told us we just needed to be concerned with things that would melt on the dash of a car on a hot day.  That information would have simplified thinking a lot!
To get rid of the beetles they heated my apartment to 120 degrees and I had to be gone for 8 hours. When I left home that morning, I felt as through I was at loose ends, but gradually a plan developed. I spent time with a friend and then my daughter picked me up and we took my three-year-old granddaughter to see the movie “Star”. After a late dinner with Rachael’s family and a jaunt to pick up my cat, they took me home to help me get settled in for the night.

Little seeds of discontent, and other bad attitudes  can start out small, but if we don’t ask God to heal the parts of our hearts that cause our bad attitudes,  our lives are affected. Christmas supposed  to be a time of joy.  It can also a stressful because of all the expectation we try to live up to . If this where you are, I pray you can receive healing from Jehovah so your joy will be full.


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Preparing to Grow

We often hear about people making resolutions on New Year’s Eve.  So you’re probably wondering why I’m thinking about it in October.  My balance and other motors skill are affected by my cerebral palsy.  A few years ago a friend suggested I make an appointment with her acupuncturist.  I was thrilled how much my improved after my first treatment and decided to see her on a consistent basis.  

Although Anna immigrated from the Ukraine thirty years ago, she still speaks English with a heavy accent. At a recent appointment she surprised me when she said, “I think I’m going to take some speech classes, so I can learn to speak  better English.”  Curious about her decision to try to improve her communication skills, I asked her why.  “Maybe I could get more clients and friends if I was easier to understand.”

But with her next breath she started to talk herself out of her new goal.  After telling me she didn’t have time to take classes she finally admitted she didn’t like school when she was a kid. She said “I can get better by myself.”

 “If that were true” I argued, “you would have done it already.  We don’t hear ourselves the way others do. For instance, my speech is affected by my cerebral palsy.  Unless I hear a recording of myself talking, I forget how I sound to other people. I hear myself the way I hear others. 

She was surprised when I asked her, “ Do you hear yourself roll your R’s?

Puzzled, she asked, “So what do.”  “I think either taking a class or having A mentor would be helpful.  They can point out speech patterns you need to change and give you moral support when you get discouraged.     
 Instead of increasing the number of people she can talk to by learning to speak clearer,she told me she really didn’t need to talk to strangers. She communicated just fine with her clients.  I didn’t tell her but I cringed when I thought about how restrictive that would be.  

As my treatment continued, she explained the pain I have in my arm when I straighten it.  Last year, when I started to have trouble with it, I stopped doing things that involved stretching.  For example; brushing the back of my hair and putting on my tee shirts . Unfortunately, my decisions about how to avoid pain caused my muscles to get shorter.  

There aren’t any painless answers. If I want to regain some mobility and keep my independence I need to follow her instructions.

Personal growth takes a lot of  work and dedication.  In order to achieve your goal it’s helpful to:

  • 1. Know your reason for working for it,
  • 2. What happens if you don’t try to improve your situation?
  • 3. Who are to be your cheerleaders?  

Please share your why and what keeps you going during the long haul.


Crossing My Chicken Line

My friend, Karla, called the other day and said, “I want to come see you next week.  Let’s go get manicures together.”  Without any hesitation I said OK.

Seconds after saying good-bye, I remembered why I hadn’t had my nails professionally done before.  My cerebral palsy has caused three fingers on my right hand to curl under.  No matter what anyone does they can’t be straighten out.

I debated long and hard with myself about whether or not to go ahead with it.  When I told my friend she suggested we do pedicures instead.  I told her I decided I to do it because I didn’t want to be controlled by the fear of being embarrassed. She understood and she called  a nail salon and told them about my hands.  They said “No problem.” 

But there was.  Karla and I sat next to each other.  Although the man doing my nails seemed pretty comfortable with my situation, the  the woman doing Karla’s was clearly out of her comfort zone. When my manicurist realized I was unable to put my hands in the right position, he moved his stool from behind the counter and sat down beside me.  When he got ready to work on my nails he looked puzzled,  I held up my right hand first said let’s do this one first as I used my left hand to straighten  the fingers on my right hand a little bit.  

The Vietnamese woman who did Karla’s kept bossing the guy who did mine around.  She wanted him to use clear polish stating colored would be a mess.

I’m glad I went even though my outing with Karla wasn’t as pleasant as we hoped it would be.  I left with a smile feeling stronger because I’d survived going over my chicken line.

What does your chicken line consist of?    Take a risk. Step over it.  There’s freedom on the other side!    



 Many Blessings,


“I am a pencil in God’s hand.  God writes through us, and however imperfect instruments we may be, God writes beautifully.”  ~Mother Teresa

Sprinkling Hope

Blue skies and sunshine unexpectedly showed up after days of rain in Portland.  I find that words of encouragement perk up people’s spirits the same way.     

A few weeks ago, I ventured into a new large church for the first time.  I only knew a handful of people, so I was quite surprised when a woman rushed up to me during the church service.  She said, “I know you and I really need to talk to you.”  I didn’t have the foggiest idea who she was and I wondered if my memory lapse was given away by the blank expression that washed over my face.

 When she started describing our brief encounter, relief swept over me as I recalled a beautiful summer day about twenty years ago. Some friends invited my little girl and I to a blue grass concert. Since I can’t drive, this was quite a treat! 

I took a wheelchair with me since I have cerebral palsy and can’t walk well.  Surveying the crowd from my wheelchair, I spotted a woman with a small boy in a wheelchair too.  When I talked to her, all those years later , she said I was still  grieving over his condition.  But why  gave me courage when you  told me  “God has a plan and purpose for his life, he’ll  be able to do anything he wanted too.”  She laughed and said, “And he is!”

Talking to her again, reminded me that, despite the fact that we must face our own challenges, God can still use each one of us to give others courage.