Crossing My Chicken Line

My friend, Karla, called the other day and said, “I want to come see you next week.  Let’s go get manicures together.”  Without any hesitation I said OK.

Seconds after saying good-bye, I remembered why I hadn’t had my nails professionally done before.  My cerebral palsy has caused three fingers on my right hand to curl under.  No matter what anyone does they can’t be straighten out.

I debated long and hard with myself about whether or not to go ahead with it.  When I told my friend she suggested we do pedicures instead.  I told her I decided I to do it because I didn’t want to be controlled by the fear of being embarrassed. She understood and she called  a nail salon and told them about my hands.  They said “No problem.” 

But there was.  Karla and I sat next to each other.  Although the man doing my nails seemed pretty comfortable with my situation, the  the woman doing Karla’s was clearly out of her comfort zone. When my manicurist realized I was unable to put my hands in the right position, he moved his stool from behind the counter and sat down beside me.  When he got ready to work on my nails he looked puzzled,  I held up my right hand first said let’s do this one first as I used my left hand to straighten  the fingers on my right hand a little bit.  

The Vietnamese woman who did Karla’s kept bossing the guy who did mine around.  She wanted him to use clear polish stating colored would be a mess.

I’m glad I went even though my outing with Karla wasn’t as pleasant as we hoped it would be.  I left with a smile feeling stronger because I’d survived going over my chicken line.

What does your chicken line consist of?    Take a risk. Step over it.  There’s freedom on the other side!    

chicken

 

 Many Blessings,

Lyla

“I am a pencil in God’s hand.  God writes through us, and however imperfect instruments we may be, God writes beautifully.”  ~Mother Teresa

Finding Balance

balancing

On Facebook I read a post about how many children with special needs go through the addition heartbreak of isolation.  They are seldom invited to go to parties and other events with their peers.

Days before my High School Senior prom, I couldn’t stand the thought of missing out on the fun so I asked a boy to take me.  I’m sure I surprised the guy, and I threw my mom into a spin because she only had a few days to get me ready.

Even though there are attempts to include kids with special needs, all too often efforts fail. Last year, I read an article about a student who used a wheelchair.  She practiced for the Christmas program along with her classmates.  She learned all the songs and was excited the night of their performance.  As her friends climbed on to the stage, her wheelchair was parked in down below the stage.  Her smiles turned to tears when she realized she was all alone.

During a discussion group centered on grief and loss I had some life changing revelations.    Two women in the group were amputees.  As they talked, I recognized I had similar feelings.   I haven’t let my disability control me but a there are times I’ve felt sad about what I haven’t been able to do.  For instance, in springtime many are out either riding bikes or doing other activities.  Feelings of loss often spring up when everyone else is having fun.  After I identified my loss and acknowledged my pain I was able to let Jesus heal it.

Another symptom of feeling like you’re always missing out on the fun others are having is not feeling satisfied with what you’re doing.  This has often caused me wear myself out, because of feeling compelled to look for the next fun thing or group of people who would give me a sense of belonging.

In 2 Cor.2:10 Paul tells us to take every thought captive.

When we let God heal our hearts by transforming our minds we are no longer captives to the pain in our past. 

Be Still To Be Filled

I got a new hummingbird feeder a few weeks ago. For a few days after I hung it up I felt a bit disappointed because I didn’t see any birds. Finally I got a colorful plant that they’re attracted to and that made all the difference. Soon after I got the new plant, I was thrilled when a pair of them visited for a few seconds. I have noticed now, that the longer I have a feeder hanging on my patio, the more birds come. Some stay longer than others, delighting my heart as they take in nutrition. They never seem to stop moving. Even when they are at the feeder their tiny wings are fluttering at a rate of 80 times per second.

We are a lot like hummingbirds, flitting from here to there. We may want to hear from our Heavenly Father, yet quieting our minds feels impossible. Like the hummers sipping at the feeder, our busy minds prevent us from hearing what our Heavenly Father wants to whisper in our ear.

I’m glad that He invites us to “be still and know” that He is God. As beautiful as my little friends are, I want to be more than a flash of busy color. I want to be quiet long enough to absorb His message of love so I can share it with others.

hummingbird

Hidden Gifts

Me and my Ecola Bible friends at the retreat

Last weekend, I went to a conference that I’ve been going to for many years. This retreat has been hosted by David O’Brien, a man with Cerebral Palsy.   Over 30 years ago, he invited several of his friends with disabilities to spend a weekend at the Cannon Beach Conference Center on the first weekend in December. Little did he know that this was the beginning of a 30 year tradition.

To make this weekend possible, David has partnered with many people from his church as well as the students from Ecola Bible School. Each attendee has students help them throughout the weekend. This gives the students the unique opportunity to form friendships with and learn more about people with disabilities.

While we were getting ready to gather for a meeting, I glanced at the unopened gifts sheltered by the Christmas tree. When I see gifts, I know there is a sense of expectation; we always expect something wonderful, but sometimes we are disappointed. We want to put those gifts back on the shelf and pretend we never got them. I started to think about how many people are like unopened gifts. Some people don’t live up to our expectations. Some people may look like pretty packages, but when we unwrap them we discover that they are less than desirable. The opposite is true too! At first glance, there are people that may be less appealing, but when we take the risk to engage with them, we discover that they are like hidden treasures. All people are gifts; so if you get a gift that you aren’t sure you want, please take another look!

Some people celebrate Christmas just to open gifts and celebrate love, while others celebrate the birth of their Savior.  Jesus was the epitome of an unwanted gift. He was born to an unwed mother and was not at all the King that the Israelites expected. He knows all about how it feels to be an unwanted gift. My hope is that none of us miss out on the surprise gifts that will come our way this Christmas season.

He Can Lift the Fog

fog

This afternoon, my friend looked at my desk and asked me, “Do you want me to help you clean up your desk?” My first thought was, “No!” I thought it was hopeless. But I groaned and said, “Ok.” And sure enough, in a few minutes, she helped me to make order out of chaos!  There were things on my desk from just a few days ago to papers from a conference that I’d been to months before.

When we’re talking about discouragement, it’s not something that just shows up one day. It’s the little things that we gradually accumulate. Discouragement can seem like a foggy day that slowly, slowly clouds your vision, preventing you from seeing your next steps. I think we don’t pay attention to the little things that bug us, and then we wake up one day so bummed that it’s impossible to ignore any longer. Sometimes I don’t meet my own expectations and I don’t see any solutions to the problems that are eating away at me. However, each time I invite God into my messy circumstances, amazing things happen.

It stinks that we wait so long and let things pile up when we could so easily turn it over to the Lord. But sometimes, we don’t even see the need until life starts going sideways and we don’t know how to stop it. When we remember that, (Psalm 46:1) “The Lord is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble,” life goes much smoother.

Summer treasures

book cover 1 book cover

Where did the summer go? The kids are back in school, and the souvenirs that the kids just HAD to have when they were on vacations may already be forgotten. They could be strewn across the playroom floor or tossed underneath the bed, never to be treasured again.

My mom never bought herself anything when we went away on vacation, so we were surprised when we went to Waterton in Alberta Canada and she bought herself a mole-hair blanket. I’ve kept it for many years but recently I felt the blanket and realized how scratchy it was and I thought, ‘I wouldn’t want to cover myself with this!’ It got me thinking, it’s not the quality of the blanket that made me keep it, but it’s my memories of that day.

Some of the treasures from my summer were two wonderful books by women that I connected with at the Oregon Christian Writer’s Conference a few weeks ago. I’ve read their work recently to get some inspiration. These two stories resonated with something other than just my head. Both of these books encouraged me by showing me that each of us have a story that can impact the people around us and help each of us to be overcomers.

The Iron Heart by Delilah Moore Leach is a memoir about her contracting polio as a child, and her efforts not to be restrained by her outward appearance. It reminded me a lot of my own story. Both of us went to college despite others’ expectations. We also both realized that we had to change our own self-image rather than expecting other people to change their perceptions of us.

Where Eagles Soar by Bonnie Leon is a riveting account of a woman whose courage and determination to survive helped her to overcome life-altering abuse at the hands of her dad. Her story will impact other people who feel stuck in their circumstances.

The treasures that I have from this summer won’t be tossed under the bed or slip away from my memory because they are stories that impacted me and will remain dear to my heart.

 

Searching for Significance

Sometimes we are filled with passion toward one cause or another and it directs our path and our decisions. Other times we just live moment-to-moment with a hunger in our hearts to do something that matters to someone.

Last night we were going around and sharing problems within my small group and trying to let the Lord re-frame our circumstances into positive experiences and I was just squirming in my seat. We’ve all been in a place where we don’t know where we belong or we can’t see the bigger purpose of why life is turning out the way that it is. Life is a continual journey, we are always on our way somewhere, but there are times that we feel stagnant and root-bound to a space that is too small for our growing desire to produce something great. There is something really satisfying about sharing our lives and our talents with others around us.

This past weekend, I met two men who were both in the prime of their lives when tragedy struck and changed their course forever. One man was involved in a diving accident more than thirty years ago and the other was diagnosed with ALS just a few years ago. They are both currently in a long-term care facility and I had the privilege of spending some time visiting with them. I was deeply impressed with how hopeful both of these men were given their circumstances. My visit with these men was like finding a quiet stream after having been hurried along on the highway of life with so many others who are rushing to get to where they want to go.

These two men accept service gracefully for their various physical needs, and also serve others with their friendly and welcoming attitudes. I’m sure they have struggled with finding their purpose and meaning like all of us have, but I can see that they have worked through their grief over what has happened in their lives and now they are profound instruments of grace and hope to others.

Psalm 104: 16 “The trees of the Lord are well watered, the cedars of Lebanon that he planted.”